Eyeliner. Relationships. School. Adulting. Few of many expectations that fuel our life, and crush our hopes and dreams like a comet crashing down onto earth’s surface.
Just kidding, that’s a little extreme and we honestly don’t have comets crashing down on to Earth. It’s a rarity, so your dreams and hopes are still good. However, your expectations are a different story…
Obviously, society plays a major influence on how we view the world. It sows the seed in which we form our thoughts, morals, values and who we are as a person. As a little human, we learn through various factors like hereditary morals and values that are passed through our parents learning from their parents, media outlets that water the seed of expectations and other extraneous environmental factors that we deal with day to day. We grow up mostly accepting society’s norm because that is what we are taught. However as we continue to flourish we create our identity, who we wish to be seen as. We are multiple people with different views and expectations. We all perceive the world in infinite ways. We often root ourselves into these expectations, and then in reality wonder why we aren’t growing. We don’t allow the sun to help fuel us, we don’t consider we need water for food, or oxygen to stimulate growth. We see one idea..”to get bigger“, without realizing what other factors we need in order to achieve results.
It’s all in the flick of the wrist, a whole lot of eyeliner and q-tips. Beauty has many definitions, but it seems nowadays to be validated through social media with how many likes you can get, or how many followers you have. The Kylie Jenner lips..the perfect eyesbrows…nails did, hair did, everything did. 13 year olds looking like they are in their 20s. I mean it helps me look young since people don’t know the difference anymore. Nowadays it seems the norm. What society considers beautiful has put pressure on us growing up, because we feel we have to be this criteria of “beautiful”. I’m not going to lie, I have and still deal with beauty issues. I’m not perfect, I wish I had my bestfriend’s flawless skin where I didn’t have to wear makeup, but I definitely am learning to appreciate myself more, and stop investing so much time to scroll through social media and compare myself. We have plenty of Instagram influencers, likes, and followers, but at the end of the day there is only one you and one life. Do you want to defined as that “like” or as the beautiful soul enriched with beauty from within. In reality, you can’t impress everyone but the ones that truly add value to your life will be there.
I would like to blame Disney and all romantic movies for making me have such high expectations. I mean is anybody turning pumpkins into carriages still nowadays, or whose willing to slay a dragon for me just for a kiss. Honestly, it’s good to have expectations and to know your worth, but we also have to realize…Hello 2017…as woman wanting equality and independence, many of us want guys to put in work without showing our worth to them. It’s a team effort, a give and take, and a risky enviroment..sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. You have to be willing to give in order to receive. Now I’m not saying to give your cake away because there are plenty of courses before dessert. We have breakfast, snack, brunch, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack, maybe another snack. Honestly, it is per your discretion and how you feel not society, or someone pressuring you, or an article telling signs to know when you are ready. A relationship whether it’s a friend or something more, it is built on good communication. Don’t lead a someone on or use them for your advantage.It’s likewise for guys, we live in a society where we want the relationship and the cute shit, but we don’t want to put in work or to put a label on it. We have to compromise and sometimes it’s not always about the romantic stuff. It is about the vibes, conversations, and memories created. In reality, the material stuff deteriorates but the memories will forever be alive…this is 2017…do not expect someone to put in time and effort if you aren’t willingly to either. Teamwork, grow together.
Go to college they said. It’ll be worth it they said. In debt you will be, they may have said but I never listened. “Stands in the middle of the road to get hit, so I can pay off my student loans.” Honestly college wasn’t bad. I have met many friends who have influenced my life, created unforgettable memories, and shared a bond that will last a lifetime. However, to be honest I never partied or joined many clubs and organizations. I mostly just went to school and worked full-time. I did have a high expectation of being rich, working an amazing job with a fancy title, and business cards to hand to people like “I made it Fam”. Obviously, we know that isn’t reality yet. College is just a stepping stone in to a successful future. It’s not meant for everyone, but not everyone is Bill Gates either. It does allow bring you a path filled with opportunities that are closer to you, than without furthering your education. We tend to open our eyes in college and to view the whole picture from a 360-degree view.Expectations of college are not always partying, cramming a paper and getting good grades. In reality, it’s learning about who you are as a person. Your determination, willingness, and how far you will go to succeed while finding the path that is right for you. To never stop yearning for knowledge.
Hahahahahah..What is this adult life? I honestly expected something you would see out of movies. Graduate, find a cool job, find an apartment that displays my adulting life, and live happily ever after.Well, once again media definitely influenced my ideology on that note. False hope has been achieved. The struggles of being independent, often come with a price and sacrifice. Sometimes, we expect we can handle it all when we have no clue what we are doing. However, at this moment I’m ok with being lost because every day I learn something new. It brings me closer to finding my direction. I may not be married yet, have my own apartment, have kids, or be a doctor but I have plenty of time to get there at my own pace. In reality, we are “adulting” in our unique individual ways, yet we are all struggling with something which lets us all know it’s ok not be where you want because you are currently where you need to order to progress.
Sometimes our expectations exceed reality and we tend to lose focus. It’s not always about expectations, but learning to take off the Snapchat filter and realize what life is, to appreciate the rawness. Society is filled with expectations, filters, and influences that sometimes keep us from growing into our unique individuals. In order to grow, root yourself from a strong foundation of organic individualism, while allowing extraneous factors to help you but remember to give your beauty and what you have to offer to the world.